1. Thou shalt chant as many tunes as thou canst think of.
2. Thou shalt not chant any one tune for more than three minutes.
3. Thou shalt not chant the morning tune in the morning. Or if thou start
with it thou shalt quickly switch to something else.
4. Thou shalt start fast, speed up, speed up more, then stop and start all
over again. The more times the better.
5. If thou art the mrdanga player, thou shalt always set the pace, following
whatever mechanical pattern thou art used to, and let the singer follow thee
or go to hell.
6. Thou shalt always chant “Jaya Prabhupada,” “Jaya Gurudeva,” “Jaya
Gaura-Nitai,” “Jaya the names of all the Deities in thy temple (and then
some),” and as many other “Jayas” as thou canst think of. Thou shalt never
end a kirtana without those “Jayas.”
7. Thou shalt always add “Jaya Radhe” to the kirtana. (And if thou canst
vary it with “Jaya Sri Radhe,” so much the better.)
8. Thou shalt not allow the Hare Krsna mantra to take up more than ten
percent of the kirtana. And heaven forbid thou shouldest chant it all the
9. If thou art Indian, thou shalt try to sound like a professional bhajan
singer. If thou art not Indian, thou shalt try to sound like an Indian
devotee imitating one.
10. Thou shalt forget about the way Srila Prabhupada led kirtana.