“You will see women as lust objects, you will not care to look after them. How can you look after them, you will not protect them, you will use them as though they are not human beings as if they don’t deserve a man to support and protect them through out their life… You don’t care, you just care to get them in bed and when they are pregnant you line up in an abortion and go for the next and another one, and then another one and in this way you become more and more selfish and you become less interested in the well-being of all those women with whom you are having sex with – May be you get bored with women and try men for a while or maybe you will try something else!”….
THE WHOLE TRANSCRIPT
Devotees: One of the regulative principles is no illicit sex, but isn’t sex a natural desire? So anything which is natural cannot be banned?
Maharaja: Yes Yes so many things are natural, you know.
Devotee: Something which comes from within…
Maharaja: Yes Yes I know, I know where it is coming from and I know where it is going to, believe me.
I will give you a simple example:
When one man gets in the traffic, even the most peaceful person gets agitated and every driver would like to have a button that if some idiot gets in front of his wheels, that he could just throw a big flame to burn him to ashes. This feeling comes from within, this feeling to burn a fool who cannot drive who isin front of you – If you would have a button on your dash board you might push it sometimes …No, but the intelligence pushes in and says:
“How could I do that? I cannot burn people to ashes. That would not be a good thing.”
So, just as anger comes from within and in anger we want to do so many things, we use our brains and say: “No, we will not do it.”
In anger we say: “I will kill you”
and then say “I didn’t mean it I was just saying it.”
But it can be so hard, that somewhere the intelligence comes in and says: “No I will not do it, I am just saying it.”
So in the same way with sex, also the desire comes and then the intelligence kicks in and says:
“Is this sex beneficial for me?”
So, illicit sex is not beneficial because illicit sex will bind us to lust, it will never satisfy us.
Again and again, more and more and still not happy and then another one and another one and in the end we only live for lust.
So to live for lust is not very helpful, because you want more and more and more and you are still not satisfied.
Devotee: That’s not only with sex, it is with everything in life, for example food…
Maharaja: Fine, same thing with food. Same thing with everything, therefore the restrictions must be there in different areas not only with the food or sex but all things. There must be moderation and control….
Devotee: but what is wrong with sex?
Maharaja: But sex is one of the fundamental drives in men as we know from physiology – maybe you have heard about Froid ….So, sex is recognised as the driving force in men, therefore it cannot be compared to all other drives. For all drives we need some sense control.
Some people everything they see, they have to buy it – at one point you have to lock them up, you have to control them. If you are married to someone like that, you will find out, that there is some need for control. So, control is required in many areas, but in regards to sex, illicit sex will bind us more and more in lust.
Each time when we engage in illicit sex the lusty desires will increase and we will want more and more and more. So, it is like a rock rolling down the hill and gets more and more momentum. So it will pull us down and it will become a total obsession.
So, the more you get into illicit sex, the more obsessed you become by it, until your whole life will be devoured by it. Therefore that’s not beneficial!
Well, you might say:
“At least I enjoyed in my life”
But you became a very selfish person. Remember in the lecture how we spoke about the girl and how we gave the example of making sacrifice and how that is higher but the more you engage in illicit sex the less you will be interested in sacrifice. You will see woman as a lust objects, you will not care to look after them. How can you look after them, you will not protect them, you will use them as though they are not human beings as if they don’t deserve a man to support and protect them through out their life… You don’t care, you just care to get them in bed and when they are pregnant you line up in an abortion and go for the next and another one, and then another one and in this way you become more and more selfish and you become less interested in the well-being of all those woman with whom you are having sex with – May be you get bored with women and try men for a while or maybe you will try something else!
Devotee: Probably you are talking of an extreme situation. There are people who have indulged in illicit sex and view the woman as a woman and not as an object.
Maharaja: So you are talking of a more moderate form, only a wife or may be a girlfriend as well
Devotee: okay suppose a girlfriend as well….
Maharaja: what if she gets pregnant? …The girlfriend gets pregnant and you already have a wife what will you do now?
Have the child or have the abortion?
It’s very cheap, it’s advertised all over Bombay.
It is dirt cheap. How much is it? What is the average price of abortion in Bombay?
Devotee: Probably 1000 rupees I guess so… I have no clue.
Maharaja: So the temptation to become involved in sinful activity is very great. You may not choose for that because you have a noble heart, I accept that, you may be a man of character and says no, even if it would happen, I would maintain that other child also and would be very sorry also.
Although that other child may not get a very good start in life because his father is married to someone else, that child would get a very bad start in life, but you would be responsible for it. But you would not have been so nasty that you would go for an abortion.
Obviously since there are so much advertisements and since it’s only 1000 rupees or so it’s good business and there are lots of abortions going on. So this is all due to illicit sex.
And still even if you look after that child, that child gets a bad chance for its up-bringing and what will that child become, what will his character be, what will he contribute to the society.
So, in this way what will your illicit sex ultimately do for the well-fare of the society and mankind at large? How will you become a better person? How will your wife become a better person? Your children become a better person?
Therefore better, marry, take responsibility, take care of some lady, take care of a family and try to help your wife to become a better person, become a better person yourself and do something good in the world and bring your children up to do something good. Isn’t that better.
…..before marriage this girlfriend and that girlfriend and oops!!! Accident, and then you have so many girlfriends and you know the AIDS figures are rising very rapidly in Bombay. Oh! Boy, Oh Boy, you just get the wrong girlfriend and suddenly get tested and HIV positive but you didn’t find out in time and You already had sex with ten other girls after that and they are also all HIV positive – it happens.
Devotee: it could happen even with one girl that you have sex with, with your wife it can happen.
Maharaja: no, why if you just have followed the principles of living with your spouse, you are protected from these things. It will not happen. Illicit sex leads to all these things and all kinds of sexually generated diseases are part of illicit sex, they go hand in hand.
Devotee: so by indulging in illicit sex you get caught up in lust?
Maharaja: I say that you get caught up in the whole network of reactions and a whole network of entanglement and I have just painted a few details for everyone here to show that it’s not just a beautiful picture but that there is lots of ugliness there.
Devotee: is there a problem with everything that gives momentary pleasure or it’s just….
Maharaja: yes, temporary pleasure is alright but it is not so important, but we make too much out of it. We make it too big. But it is gone.
Temporary pleasure is not so important, think about it deeply. Temporary wealth, I give you a 10000 dollars and you can keep it for ten minutes, feels great. How did it feel? Ya! It felt good for ten minutes but it was only temporary.
If you can keep it -then it is more exciting.
So, temporary is not so satisfying. It’s not so important. Thank you.
Transcribed by Madhumati Devi Dasi
(Kadamba Kanana Swami 2005)