(Kadamba Kanana Swami, Stockholm, June 2011)

A devotee is never desiring liberation.  A devotee is simply desiring devotional service and he is just praying, (Sanskrit) “Life after life, please engage me in your devotional service.”

Still, Krsna takes him back to Godhead.  Because in his heart of hearts, he has a natural desire to be with Krsna, and therefore to be placed as an atom at the Lotus Feet of Krsna.  He has a natural desire to be in the association of Krsna.  He is so attracted to Krsna, how could he not desire to be in the association of Krsna?

And then Lord Caitanya is saying that, as that desire emerges out of his heart, he says, “But I am not qualified to be in the association of Krsna!  I am so fallen!  So what to do?  But I still desire it so much!  Then let me just pray to be an atom, to take the most insignificant position.  I must pray to be in his association … I cannot avoid it … I am desiring it so much in my heart, but I can only ask for the lowest position – an atom at His Lotus Feet.”

So it’s very deep and very nice.  We see on the one hand that there is a desire to just serve Krsna, but then because of the attraction to Krsna, the devotee still desires to go back to Godhead, and be in the association of Krsna.

But he is not going to desire that, ‘I want to be a gopi or I want to be this or that …no, an atom!’
“I’m so fallen, I’m so insignificant. I just pray to be an atom at Your Lotus Feet.”

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