(Kadamba Kanana Swami, June 2011)
“I don’t know if I really want to go back to Godhead. I mean I’m afraid to go back to Godhead. I’ll miss my mother, my aunty and everybody else. And then I’ll be back to Godhead. Oh my god, I don’t know if I want to go there!”
So we don’t even have a desire to go back to Godhead. So Prabhupada said:
“Yes, first back to Godhead. To develop a desire of going back to Godhead, and appreciate it”.
Don’t worry, Dhruva went and he took his mother as well! There you go….no problem! If you go then your mother can also go, and everybody else…….even your favourite parrot! If you really be merciful upon your pet. Krishna will say;
“All right that can also go. No problem”.
And not be miserly:
“Oh no, I can’t go back to Godhead, since my hamster is still here!”
No, it’s not that bad. So back to Godhead………we have to firstly develop the desire before we can say:
“Now I’ll serve in the world, for so many lifetimes”.
“No, it’s okay. I will stay in the material world and I’ll just serve Krishna!”
Yes, but in reality we are just serving ourselves, because even externally serving Krishna, we are still concerned with our own position and getting quite comfy in devotional service, and we fall prey, as described by Srila Vishvanatha Chakravarti Thakura that:
“Instead of becoming absorbed in the ecstasy of pure devotional service, we are externally engaged in pure devotional service, and internally enjoying the side benefits of devotional service”.
The side benefits that come as prestige, worship, opulence and everything else. So it is important to have the desire of going back to Godhead!