(Kadamba Kanana Swami, Radhadesh, Belgium, 2011) Lecture – C.c Adi 7.20-21
How hard must we try to develop our desires for Krishna? We must try with all our heart. We must try with every cell in our body! We must try with every thought that comes into our mind………we must try completely……completely…..nothing else! That’s what we should do. But of course, we don’t do that, and when it comes to the next part, and that is the part when we realise that:
“I know what I should be doing, and I’m falling short….I’m very much falling short”.
That is when we start to pray for mercy, and that is why I always stress about Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, because I’m so much aware of how much I’m falling short. Of course, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was deeply absorbed in the meditation of Radha and Krishna. So I am also thinking about the amazing nature of Vrindavan. I consider Vrindavan as my home, but in that home I am just a poor miserly beggar! That’s the problem. I see the residents of Vrindavan passing by and sometimes a few drops of mercy come my way, but then I can’t really keep up with them at all……and then I know that it’s time for mercy, and so I pray to Lord Nityananda and Lord Caitanya for mercy…..and I pray to all the followers of Sri Sri Gaura Nitai, to Srila Prabhupada, to all of you….and then I hope. I wrote something about this, which says:
“As a beggar, basically I want Krishna Prema. Oh yes! I really want it but I don’t want to pay the price for it! Oh no, I don’t, and I offer Krishna only broken names, that’s all. Please give me Krishna Prema! Please……please!”
Meanwhile, I’m offering broken names. That is my condition. So you must try to give everything. Not a little bit, but everything…..everything for Krishna!