(H H Kadamba Kanana Swami, 20th June 2012, Prague, Czech Republic) Lecture: SB.4.12.8
As a devotee one has to become very firmly fixed on the identity of being the servant of Krishna. So again and again we have to remind ourselves:
‘I am servant, I am servant.’
It is very difficult to act in that way because due to our conditioned nature we will be inclined to act as the enjoyer and controller, which will be our natural tendency, and will spontaneously emerge from within our heart, so that somehow or other we will want to control or enjoy!
So therefore in the conditioned state of devotional service one has to consciously remind himself – in other words we have to preach to ourselves(to our mind) and explain to the mind:
‘No, you are servant.’
‘Oh yes, I am servant, yes but of course I am the best servant of all this service.’
In this way it is very difficult, and again and again we have to struggle to be a servant. Therefore Srila Ragunath Das Goswami would take a very humble position, and he said that:
‘I will not meditate on any of the higher relations with Krishna.’
There are 5 rasas as we know:
‘Dasya – servitor ship, sakhya – friendship, or santa – neutral, vatsalya – parental and madhurya – the conjugal relationship with Krishna.’
So Srila Raghunath Das Goswami said:
‘I will not meditate on any other relationship with Krishna then dasya – servitor ship with Krishna, and I will not think of any other relationship unless if the vaisnavas are asking me to consider that.’
So in this way we are seeing that Ragunath Das Goswami was conscious that the tendency of the enjoying and controlling spirit is very strong, and he was making arrangements to protect himself from falling prey to that, because the mind is very tricky!