(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 21st November 2012, Cape Town, South Africa)
Spiritual life is interesting because we are meant to surrender and come to a point where we commit for a lifetime. But how can we commit for a lifetime when we don’t know what a lifetime is going to do to us? A lifetime comes with endless surprises! How can we see over a lifetime? So, how can one think: ‘I’m going to give my life, is it realistic?’
Yes, we think we are going to give our life and then we can only deal with it from moment to moment. So, this moment is for Krsna, ’All right got this one in.’
The next moment is also for Krsna and each time again, we have to choose for Krsna. Of course, sometimes we choose a little more for Krsna and at other times a little less. Sometimes, we choose for Krsna whole-heartedly with enthusiasm and at other times we choose for Krsna routinely, with a half-hearted attempt. But even with a half-hearted attempt, at least we choose for Krsna. Of course with a half-hearted attempt, it is like opening the window on a cold-stormy-rainy Cape Town day – you’re going to get some water inside, that’s for sure.
So, a half-hearted attempt is a bit like that, you’re going to get wet anyway and then later on, we have to mop it all up. Hare Krsna, Krsna, Krsna… Struggle, struggle again, until everything gets a little dry and then we get more inspired. So like this, it is not free of struggle but that mercy is very much there and around us and entering into our life more and more, and the relationship with that mercy is deepening with time. And even if we cannot do everything, it does not matter, the mercy just enters into our life!