(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 21 December 2010, Cape Town, South Africa, Lecture at house program)
In the Caitanya Candrodaya Nataka, in the pastime just after Lord Caitanya takes sannyasa, Nityananda sends a message to Advaita Archarya that all the devotees are in separation that very soon Nityananda will arrange that somehow the Lord will come to his (Advaita Archarya’s) house. Advaita Archarya starts dancing and calls out, “Nityananda, Nityananada! What a friend, he has conquered me!”
And he keeps repeating, “What a friend, he has conquered me!”
So there is a very deep lesson in there – that friendship is based on conquering on the heart. Actually, all relationships are based on conquering the heart.
We see that in our tradition parakiya rasa is the highest. Not the marital relationship but the extra-marital relationship of lovers, the forbidden relationship. That is the relationship between Radha and Krsna – stolen moments! Not of out obligation but by conquering each time, again and again. In parakiya rasa, Radharani has to each time conquer the relationship with Krsna and sometimes the other way around also. So, this is the nature of true relationships: not take anyone’s affection for granted for a moment.