(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 03 May 2016, Vrndavana, India, Bhagavad-gita 3.34)
We may say that we do not love chanting so much but if I, as the government, would give an order, “You are not allowed to chant! Chanting is forbidden.” Suddenly, you will have a lot more love for chanting than you think. Whereas now, chanting is like, “Oh… I have to chant again.” But if it would be forbidden, then suddenly we are very Krsna conscious.
I also experienced it like that because I am a freedom lover by nature. When I read Prabhupada’s Gita, the purports were hammering me. They were basically telling me that the purpose of life was to surrender to Krsna and if I do not, then I was not sincere. So, reluctantly, I accepted it. But then there was the Hare Krsna movement which was another thing. To accept the teachings and the philosophy was one thing, but to accept a movement with its authority structure and so on was very difficult for me. I was an independent spirit and still am a little bit.
Anyway, a few weeks after I joined, I took a vacation from the temple. But then I found that I had become so Krsna conscious. In the temple, I was not in Krsna consciousness at all but as soon as I was out of the temple, I could not stop talking about Krsna… all the time, with everybody, I did not want to talk about anything else. I was much more Krsna conscious than I thought I was. So actually, we love Krsna more than we think we do.