(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 26 April 2016, Radhadesh, Belgium, Srimad Bhagavatam 7.8.19–24)

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When we are struggling in our spiritual lives, it means that we have to put in more external activity. When there is an internal struggle, it means that externally there is a vacuum, that externally we have not put in enough worship of Krsna, not enough chanting of Hare Krsna and not enough absorption in Krsna’s teachings. There is not enough Krsna upadesh but we just have to increase it, somehow do more and then the breakthrough will come. 

It is a little difficult! Sometimes we say, “I cannot do more because I do not feel inspired.” This is the eternal dilemma, “If I was inspired, I would be more Krsna conscious.” No. Be more Krsna conscious and you WILL BE inspired. This is actually how it is. It is the kanistha-adhikari (neophyte devotee) who says to Krsna, “I will surrender if you give me the ecstasy. If you give me the bliss of Krsna consciousness then I will surrender.” Krsna says, “No, surrender and I will give you bliss.”

But the madhyam (intermediate devotee) has understood, “I will surrender. I will just do it and then see what comes. I will put my faith there. I put my faith that happiness is with Krsna, not with other things. I will leave these other things because what happiness is really going to come from it. It is going to be mixed at best – happiness and distress. I have faith that if I invest in service to Krsna, then happiness will come.”

’śraddhā’-śabde—viśvāsa kahe sudṛḍha niścaya kṛṣṇe bhakti kaile sarva-karma kṛta haya (Caitanya Caritamrta Madhya 22.62). All good will come from serving Krsna, from devotional service. That is śraddhā’. That is faith. So that is madhyam. The madhyam has faith. Kanistha does not. Kanistha means weak determination.

So this is our predicament. We are waiting for Krsna to somehow or other send us some grace. “Oh, Krsna, please be merciful to me. Please send me the inspiration. Please send me nectar. Krsna, I pray to you.” Few minutes later… nothing is coming. The struggle goes on, the struggle continues. Because we have to make that step first, make the gift to Krsna of ourselves. We have to give ourselves in service and immediately the inspiration will be there. Immediately!

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