(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 20 June 2014, Stockholm, Sweden, Caitanya Caritamrta Madhya 22.75)
Sometimes small things can make such a big difference. When it does not happen, that can also make a difference. I was about fourteen years old, I was on a bus and there was one empty seat next to mine. Then this Hare Krsna came onto the bus and I thought, “Oh no…” knowing that the only empty seat in the bus was next to me. I thought, “Oh God! Oh no! I hope it is not going to happen!” I almost crawled into the wall of the bus! Sure enough, he sat next to me.
I looked at him thinking, “Oh my God. Oh no! A Hare Krsna!”
He looked at me like, “Oh! A hippie! Oh God! A hippie! Oh no!”
And, I was thinking, “Oh no! A Hare Krsna!”
That is about as far as it ever got. After some stops, he got down and that was it. But, what if he would have given me an invitation card to the Sunday feast!?
What if, he would have said, “Hey. Pssst. This is for you.”
I would have said, “Uh… okay… thanks.” I would have been shocked but I might have just checked it out because I was interested in spiritual things but then he did not give me the card so nothing happened.
Somehow or other, I was getting involved in some sort of Youth Centre which had a vegetarian restaurant and different yoga courses and meditation. Then one day, there was a swami from India visiting so they asked if I could put him up for the night. I said, “No problem. Sure.”
I took the swami home but the swami was not interested in me. He was saying, “Well, tomorrow I am going to visit a Christian monastery and it will be very nice to be with some people with spiritual interests.”
I was thinking, “But I have spiritual interests.” However, he did not see it like that.
Anyway, the next morning, he left and I do not know where he went but he forgot a set of clothes on the line so I tried them on, in front of the mirror (laughter). He thought I had no spiritual interest… Anyway, I was saved from mayavada but I did get the saffron clothes and to just put them on in front of the mirror, that had an effect. That had an effect! You know, all that played its part.
So just see, we think that people are not interested but that is not a fact. Everyone, everyone is walking around thinking, “What am I doing? What am I doing actually? What am I doing?” Sometimes, only sometimes, you meet a demon who says (booming voice), “I know what I am doing! I know exactly what I am doing! I am a self-made man!” But that is rare. Most people, actually deep down in their heart are walking around and they do not know what they are doing and they know it. They know it and they wonder, “What am I doing?” Are we not like that? Were we not like that? Walking around thinking, “What am I doing?” Working at some job thinking, “What am I doing?” So many of us…