(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 31 December 2018, Simhachalam, Germany, Srimad Bhagavatam 3.25.21)
We have to conquer in relationships. We can never take them for granted and we can never think, “Now this person’s commitment is assured, so there is no need to put in effort.” When there is a marriage and the ring goes on the finger, it does not mean much; it is just a little piece of metal. Marriage actually means that one has to conquer. So we should not think that now that the ring is there, there is no need to conquer the other person.
This is the same in the relationship between a guru and his disciple. One may initiate someone, but it does not mean that they become the property of the guru (although technically speaking, they are a property of the guru, in accordance with the Caitanya Caritamrta). The disciples however do not always behave like the property of the guru because it does not always work so easily in this world – “Put a banana in the fire and now you are my property!” It is not so easy (laughter). So this is how we can see that there is an ongoing process of conquering when it comes to relationships.
So it is to be remembered that relationships are based on conquering one another and it is in that way that we are able to spread this movement of Krsna consciousness. We conquer people not through some technique or fixed process, but simply by making an effort and displaying great qualities.